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This is what Al Gore said in his endorsement of Barack Obama:
"Take it from me, elections matter," Gore said.

"If you think the next appointments to our Supreme Court are important, you know that elections matter. If you live in the city of New Orleans, you know that elections matter. If you or a member of your family are serving in the active military, the National Guard or Reserves, you know that elections matter.

"If you are a wounded veteran, you know that elections matter. If you've lost your job; if you're struggling with a mortgage, you know that elections matter." Watch Gore say Americans must let Washington know that they want a change »

Gore cited concerns about the environment, lead-painted toys and food safety -- even pet foods -- as other reasons to vote for the Democrat.

"After the last eight years, even our dogs and cats have learned that elections matter," Gore said, adding, "After eight years of lost jobs and lower wages, we need change. After eight years of incompetence, negligence and failure, we need change."

Gore said the Bush administration has "dishonored and disrespected" the Constitution and led the nation through "eight years of the most serious foreign policy mistakes in the entire history of our nation."

Kids today are taking naked pictures of themselves and putting them on the internet. That's not cool and it could get you five years to life in a federal penn. No college for them pervs!

The definition of dumbassery: As oil prices soar the worlds largest producer of oil cries foul! They don't understand why the price of oil is so high. Maybe they shouldn't charge so much. I dunno.

In other international news: A dude in Rome kidnapped his girlfriend from a bar to get his ironing done.

The kid who changed American politics, and the fate of the world, has joined 'Cuba's Communists'.

Dammed haters! Egypt bans 92 year old man from marrying a 17 year old girl.

Honda rolls out a new zero-emission hydrogen fuel cell car but only famous people get to buy it. Bastards!

NYC mayor bloomberg doesn't want people smoking or betting on horses. It's his world people, we just live in it.

Who's voting Republican? Not these guys. Our freedom of speech is freedom or death.

The iphone projector seems like an awesome idea. So when the Chinese made an iphone clone they put built one in. Those Chinese, they can do anything. Seriously though, they can do anything; violate tradmarks, copyrights, bootlegs, etc.

Here comes the mothership.

Armpit sniffer gets 14 years in jail.

Punisher War Zone is coming soon. Check the trailer.

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Fitty Cent got into a fight with his baby momma and when she refused to move out of the house he bought for her, fitty decided to burn it down. With her in it. You take the thug outta the ghetto . . . . .

I have a dead Moose for the taking.

A Japanese man couldn't figure out why food kept disappearing from his closet, until he found a woman living in his closet.

Cigarettes in NYC are now $8 a pack. On one hand its forcing people to quit, on the other hand what the hell are they doing with all that tax surpluss money?

Time magazine asks: who will rule Skippy's internet.

You knew they could do it. You knew they were doing it. After using cell phones to track users whereabouts researchers found that most people rarely leave their neghborhoods. Kinda anti-climactic if you ask me.

The next big thing.

The real next big thing.

The Jackson 5 ain't got nothin on these guys.

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I give you .. . . . the killer app

Somebody built a telescope that goes underground from NYC to London. Pass the dutchy on the left hand side.

Obama is down with the libertad.

Uncle woody has something for you.

By all accounts North Korea is a a poverty stricken dictatorship. But North Korea has 3g! The U.S. has JACK BONE!!!!!!

We now present . . . the date from hell.

The president of Gambia plans to kill every single homosexual. Me thinks somebody is in the closet.

Mysterious Apple products on the way.

Where youtube videos go to die.

Even the libertarians have already picked their candidate. So civilized, unlike dem.

I generally don't like lists, because reading them feels like homework, but here's a list of the hottest rock star spawn. I vote Bijou.

Prince covered Radiohead's "creep" in a concert and I WISH I WISH I was there to see it. But when fans put the video on youtube it Prince took it down for copyright violations, but its not his SONG!! Now Radiohead is pissed. Prince needs to take a chill pill. stat. Check the vid.

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In Louisiana it is illegal to tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Abu dhabi plans to build the first carbon neutral city, because investing in suicide bombers these days is like throwing your money away.

Chick's aren't welcome with the scientists and IT guys. The game changes once they have sex tho, but that's a looooooong wait. Have you SEEN the "Lord of the Rings" special edition box set? Its like 32 years long.

The Japanese are concerned about sexism in the workplace so they helped girls pee standing up.

John McCain was on the Ellen show.
Ellen: You're no different than I am.
McCain: But I have a penis, and that means I read good.

The Pentagon website got Punked. Which confirms my whole philosophy: Don't provoke the rage of a bunch of hackers, the most dangerous enemy is the one with nothing better to do. Take the guy who puts out his social security number on the side of buses to prove the ID-protection service works, his credit got hacked.

Instant Born Agains, just add miracle: Pilots run out of fuel, pray, land near Jesus sign

who put the dead bird in my mailbox?

A white girl from Utah "believes in hip-hop music as a source of inspiration and education". On the floor ho, till the sweat drips down my balls!

I love me some Kat Von D.

ABC America lists the seven wonders on America.

I hate all of you. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

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